As Time Slips By

WOW ! Where does the time go? Seems like I was just mentioning that I had the trailer open and here it is almost August already. Mind you, haven't been able to use the trailer as much as I want or enjoy it like we usually do, due in part to the crappy weather we have been experiencing lately. Seems every weather forecast I have seen for the last month (on a daily basis no less) calls for more "unsettled weather" with sun, clouds and intermittent showers. Well, someone should tell the weatherman that intermittent means once in awhile, not dang near all day lol. Anyways, enough whining about that - not a heck of a lot we can do about the weather, other than put up with it. Soooo ........ rather than whine and complain about the weather (or lack of it), I will try and bring a little smile to everyone's faces for a change. Therefore, for your reading pleasure, I present the following:

USELESS FACTS:

The average Canadian eats about 11.9 lbs of cereal per year.
The average Canadian drinks about 600 sodas per year (at the same time as eating cereal?)
A recent Gallup poll shows that 69 percent of Americans believe they will go somewhere after death (my guess? - a cemetery)
Since 1978, at least 37 people have died as a result of shaking vending machines, in an attempt to get free merchandise. More than 100 have been injured.
The first toothbrushes were invented in China around 1500 and did not differ much from their modern day counterparts.
Forty percent of the American population has never visited a dentist (what, they don't have teeth?)
Average life span of a major league baseball is seven pitches (does that include being hit by the bat?)
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times (go ahead - try it - I'll wait)
Canadian car horns beep in the tone of F (wonder if that is for "get the F*&%# out of my way?)
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINES (that you may have missed)

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, expert says (now you know why he is an expert)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

War Dims Hope for Peace

Local Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Construction

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Hospitals Are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Crack Found in Man's buttocks

Army Vehicle Disappears After Being Painted With Camouflage

Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find

One Handed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers (what? with his feet?)

Study finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

Man Shoots Neighbour with Machete (wonder what caliber it was?)

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop and Find Weapons (as opposed to???)

Poison Control Centre Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison (and if your wife makes the meal?)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

And finally, I will leave you with this little tidbit from Dr. Seuss on the Golden Years:

"I can not see, I can not pee. My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks. No sense of smell, I look like hell. My body's drooping, I have trouble pooping. The Golden Years have come at last, the Golden Years can kiss my *&%$#@ !"

Grandpa out ........

Where does the time go?
It seems like just yesterday and I was wishing the snow would disappear so I could open the trailer. Well, the trailer is open, and although we have had some weird weather on weekends for the last few weekends, the last weekend was great! (American Memorial Weekend - wife works for an American company so we got 3 days at the trailer - as opposed to the May 24 weekend that she only had the two days). Lots of sun, weather actually pretty decent in temperature and several great meals to boot - who could ask for anything more?

The question about time not only applies to the trailer, but also to our personal life. Again it seems like just yesterday that we were saying our "I do's" in front of the minister and this past weekend we celebrated our 40th anniversary. WOW! Hard to believe that Gail has put up with me for this long. Granted, there have been a few rocky patches in the road over the years, but through it all, the underlying love and understanding is what has gotten us through it all. Not sure if we will make another 40 years (after all, I am getting older lol) but will give it the old college try.

My oldest daughter was up at her trailer on the weekend as well and invited us for dinner. She had done up potatoes, steak, salad and a large cake for dessert. In addition, some beautiful cards from all the kids and family, a mini-statuette for our trailer of a boy and girl under an umbrella and we also got a diamond shaped crystal with the #40 engraved in it. Again, to all - many thanks. Unfortunately, our youngest daughter seems to have forgotten our anniversary all together - not a card or note or phone call or anything. Oh well, not surprised - just very disappointed, but enough about that. Not going to dwell on it - been this way for too many years to count.

Now that the half decent weather has arrived, I am sure looking forward to spending a lot more time at the trailer. Funny how I feel so much more relaxed there than I do otherwise - must be something in the air? Anyways, I may even get around to power cleaning the deck soon too, as winter has left it's usual grime and crap all over it. Will have to sit back with my coffee and think about that - after all, it is called "work" lol. Don't want to start any bad habits now, do we?

Anyhoo, not much else to mention at present, so with that, will leave this for now ..........


Grandpa out .........

Easter Already?

Well, it is that time of the year when that cwazy wabbit comes around, leaving little piles of chocolate hidden in places for kiddies to find - oh my! The sugar rush that will result !! LOL. Sure glad I am well past that stage of my life, although I still enjoy chocolate now and then. Anyways, to all and sundry, HAPPY EASTER ! May the blessings of Easter bring joy to your household.

As noted in my previous post, a friend's dog was preggers - well, she had two pups in total and they are quite cute - one is almost black and the other is brownish - they are both males and have been named Diablo (darker one) and Waffles (brownish one, named by Nick lol). It was thought she might have more, but that was it. Sure glad it won't be me having to clean up after them as they get their eyes open and start wandering around - good luck on that Tammy lol.

Hard to believe that it is only two more weeks before our trailer park opens officially for another season. I would sure like to know where the time goes - hardly seems like a year + since I retired. Well, not much else is new right now, so gonna run and start thinking about getting the turkey ready for the oven.

Enjoy Easter everyone ....................

Grandpa out ......

This, That and Some Other Things

Well, here we are, officially into spring, with the weather turning nicer every day (although there are still some cold nights) So, what's new? Well, to start with, my niece got engaged recently. Mandy and Tyler have apparently decided to wait for a couple of years before tying the knot, which is a good thing. That time will allow them to objectively determine their course of action in planning their lives together. Congratulations to them both.

St. Paddy's day passed uneventfully at our place. Neither my wife or I celebrate it (was a workday anyways, lol) and neither of us are into green beer. However, for those that enjoy this type of thing, I hope the day was all you wished it to be. My youngest daughter just sent a picture of our youngest grandson wearing his new glasses. He actually looks good in them and apparently picked out the frames all by himself, lol. Guess that is the curse of the Smith family hitting home again; sooner or later everyone will need glasses (whether or not they wear them is another matter, lol). Oh well, I just put my reason down to old age ha ha.

A good friend of ours mentioned that her dog is pregnant and due to deliver around Easter. Talk about "goodies" in your easter basket, lol. Her dog is a cross between a mini-pincer and a Jack Russell, and apparently mated with a Shih Tzu. That should prove to be interesting as to what the pups will look like - little puffs of fur with teeth and attitude? Too funny. Actually, this may work out quite well - our oldest daughter lost her cat recently and she has been thinking of getting a dog for the kids, but hadn't gotten around to it yet. With Bootsie being on the small side, the pups shouldn't be too big either, which would fit in well for the girls - that way the dog is not yanking them all over the place lol.

A month today, we open the trailer for the season. I am soooo looking forward to it. Hopefully Mother Nature will cooperate this year and give us a good camping season - last year was more rain than not and it is not that enjoyable when you are cooped up inside most of the time. If I wanted to be cooped up, I would sell the trailer and stay home - that way I wouldn't have the expense of the trailer fees every year. I know, I know, that is all part of camping and I agree, however you soon tire of all the rain and soggy ground. Oh well, will have to wait and see. Our weather guru at Environment Canada has predicted a warmer and sunnier summer, however he also predicted lower than normal snowfalls for winter and we set records for the level received, so you know how much faith I have in his forecasts!

Speaking of Easter, it is coming up fast - less than a month away. Mmmmm ..... chocolate! Although I can't have a lot due to my diabetes, I will have a bit. However, my wife will probably drive me nuts wanting more, so will have to make sure there is enough in the house for both of us lol. I noticed the other day when we were shopping that she stuck a couple of bags of chocolate eggs in the cart, lol. And so it starts. Oh well, you know the old saying; "happy wife, happy life". Tax time is also coming up fast. I did my taxes the other week and am not happy with the results. Oh well, what to do? Like the old saying goes, the only two things that are a constant in life are death and taxes.

I have been soooo bad this year! I had great plans to do several things over the winter and didn't accomplish a bloody thing. I more or less vegged out all winter, other than clearing snow, and really didn't do a thing that I wanted to do. Ah well, there is always next year, lol. The beauty of retirement is that there is no rush to do anything - it gets done when it gets done.

Well, can't think of much else to write on at this point. All the salient points have been covered and anything else would be idle chit-chat, lol. So, for the time being, will leave it here. Have a great day everybody........

Grandpa out ..............

That Time of Year

Well, here it is February 6th already and the days are getting longer - we are now officially over the 10 hour mark for daylight (not necessarily sun - just "daylight"). Before we know it, spring will be here and summer will soon follow. I am sooooo looking forward to a nice summer. It has been a long cold winter so far and I for one will be glad to see the tail end of it.

I got rambunctious recently and started a "family tree", through Genoom. I found that it is very easy to do - just click on the item and start filling in blanks. You can also invite family members to join (they get their own account and access and can add to the tree), which is a blessing, as my brother has been a big help so far in filling some of the blanks in. What is really scary is the number of family members (both near and distant) that you come up with. So far, there are roughly 109 people listed in our family tree, and I know that it isn't even close to being finished yet. This includes both my immediate family, siblings, parents, etc. as well as those on one of my son-in-law's side. That doesn't even count the other son-in-law or brother-in-law, etc. You can probably see where I am going with this - massive Cyprus trees in the South will have nothing on our family tree! I am thinking that by the time all is said and done, we will probably have in the region of 750 - 1000 people hanging in the branches.

I have found that doing this is extremely interesting. I have found out names of relatives that I didn't even know I had - well, obviously somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I probably knew (as everybody has to come from somebody), but consciously I wasn't really aware of them (yeah, yeah I know - no comments needed). I guess what really got me interested in this was thinking about my own mortality and what, if anything, was my legacy in life. Not that I have accomplished anything on a grand scale - you know, haven't directed any big box office movies, published great musical scores, etc. However, even though life has thrown a few curves my way, I feel that I have lived life my way, to the fullest, and am happy with all that I have accomplished. I also wanted our children and grandchildren to know from whence they hail and have a bit of family history to look back and reflect on as they themselves grow older. If they get just a small portion of satisfaction from looking at the information amassed, then I will be happy, as I am sure will all the rest of the family.

I got a little reminder the other day of another season that will be soon upon us - Tax Season! Yep, got the first of my pension slips and it reminded me that I will have to start gathering all the information together for filing of taxes - yuck! Not exactly my favourite thing to do, but having worked in the area for lo, those many years, I know that if I don't do it, the tax police will soon be knocking at my door, offering a free stay with meals included, ha ha. Seriously though, one thing I don't do is fail to file taxes. Having been in the enforcement end of things all through my career (read Collections), I know the power that can be wielded and brought to bear upon those that procrastinate. I guess the only thing I will miss is getting the free tax program to file on-line, through the Department. Now I will have to shell out a few bucks I guess and get one from our local office supply store. With the preponderance of schedules and forms that have to be filled out (start schedule A, see schedule Z if you have any of these items, etc), I have found over the last several years that it is easier to do it with a good computer software program (that is acceptable to the Government) rather than on paper. The programs make it so much easier, as they "walk you through" all the areas by asking appropriate questions for income, deductions, etc etc etc. Last year, it took me a total of 45 minutes to do mine and my wife's returns, rather than the several hours it used to take. Therefore, it is worth shelling out a few bucks for the appropriate software from my hard earned sheckels. The nice part of it is that you can also "play" around with the "what if" scenarios, to maximize your deductions and tax savings, prior to filing your taxes (not that I have a lot of wiggle room, being on pension and all, but ......).

Anyways, that is about it for now - will just remind you to file your taxes on time, as the penalties can be expensive depending on your individual situation. So, with that, will leave for now ................

Grandpa out .......

Idle Thoughts

Well, here it is, January 22 already. America has the first African-American president in history, we have a budget coming up next week here in Canada and the bloody weather is still colder than a witche's heart (if they have one, lol). Anyways, rather than go on a doom and gloom trip this posting, I thought I would keep it lighthearted. Maybe it will help us to remember that spring is not too far away - not too close, but it could be worse. Therefore, I present to you, for your enjoyment and pleasure:

IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIREE'S WANDERING MIND

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

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I had amnesia once - - or twice.

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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

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Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

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If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.
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What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?

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Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.

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Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

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One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

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My weight is perfect for my height - - which varies.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

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How can there be self-help 'groups'?

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

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Is it just me - - or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

Well, that is it for now. I hope this brought a smile to your face, or at least helped to lighten the mood. Have a great day ...........

Grandpa out ..............

Of Getting Older (but not much wiser)

Well, another year has passed and I have gotten a year older, having recently celebrated (if that is the right word) my 61st birthday. Boy! How time flies by when you are having fun (so, you might ask, when does the fun begin?). Life is what you make of it, I guess - I really can't complain too much. My life has been full, with a good career, a loving wife, two daughters (more on that in a minute) and wonderful grandchildren.

My wife and I went out for dinner on my birthday and then went to see a fabulous show put on by Roy Leblanc, an Elvis impersonator who has to be seen to be believed. He was Collingwood champion in 1999 and 2001 and world champion impersonator in the gospel category in 2003 at the Las Vegas extravaganza. He also did several songs from both Roy Orbison and Johnny Cash and the voice was unreal - you could almost picture them singing on stage! If he appears locally again, I wouldn't hesitate to go see him again - he is that good (even thought the wife is the huge Elvis fan - I like him, just not as much lol).

Speaking of birthdays, one of my daughters called me on "the" day at 7 am, waking me up, to wish me a happy birthday, with the grandkids in the background all yelling Happy Birthday lol. She thought I would be up and normally I would have been, having to drive my wife to work each day. However we had neglected to mention to anyone that my wife had booked both that and the following day off, considering the activities we were doing to celebrate. However, it was nice to get the call anyways. Our "adopted" daughter (a real good friend, who has become very close) also called to wish me birthday salutations. I even received congratulatory e-mails from several former co-workers and friends on the day, which I certainly wasn't expecting, but certainly appreciated, considering I have been gone from the work place for a year. Even my dad (who is 88 and could have been forgiven for forgetting) called the next day to wish me a happy birthday. He didn't call the day of my birthday as I had mentioned the previous week when we were talking that we would be out.

My youngest daughter sent a "Pogo" message to wish me a happy birthday! Although it was nice of her to remember, I think it would have been much better if she had phoned to wish me happy birthday, with the kids in the background yelling Happy Birthday! Maybe it is just me getting older and a little crankier, but I seem to appreciate the personal touch a hell of a lot more than a cold impersonal message on the computer that I may or may not see for days on end. I just don't understand it - I always made sure to personally call on my parent's birthdays to wish them well (or at least the next day - I also forget things) or send a card. There is nothing that beats the personal touch and thought. Oh well, to each their own I guess - no use harping on it as individuals will do what they wish, without regard to other's thoughts or feelings.

Sooooo, what will the next year bring? Unfortunately I am not a fortune teller (or I would have been wealthy by now lol), but I would certainly hope that Mother Nature gets her act together and straightens out the weather. It would be nice to spend more than a few days at the trailer (lot of rain last year during summer) and although the old-timers (get me, calling others old-timers lol) say that the last couple of winters have been of the "usual" type that they used to get, I would sure appreciate a little less snow in winter. I am soooooo tired of clearing my drive and yes, I know, I moved up to the snowbelt area so shouldn't bitch about it, but that is my right, even if people don't listen to it lol lol. Anyways, hopefully the new year will bring a little stability to everyones' lives and to the country in general.

So, without further ado, I will sign off for now - hopefully this will find everyone in good health and looking forward to things to come ........

Grandpa out ......