As Time Slips By

WOW ! Where does the time go? Seems like I was just mentioning that I had the trailer open and here it is almost August already. Mind you, haven't been able to use the trailer as much as I want or enjoy it like we usually do, due in part to the crappy weather we have been experiencing lately. Seems every weather forecast I have seen for the last month (on a daily basis no less) calls for more "unsettled weather" with sun, clouds and intermittent showers. Well, someone should tell the weatherman that intermittent means once in awhile, not dang near all day lol. Anyways, enough whining about that - not a heck of a lot we can do about the weather, other than put up with it. Soooo ........ rather than whine and complain about the weather (or lack of it), I will try and bring a little smile to everyone's faces for a change. Therefore, for your reading pleasure, I present the following:

USELESS FACTS:

The average Canadian eats about 11.9 lbs of cereal per year.
The average Canadian drinks about 600 sodas per year (at the same time as eating cereal?)
A recent Gallup poll shows that 69 percent of Americans believe they will go somewhere after death (my guess? - a cemetery)
Since 1978, at least 37 people have died as a result of shaking vending machines, in an attempt to get free merchandise. More than 100 have been injured.
The first toothbrushes were invented in China around 1500 and did not differ much from their modern day counterparts.
Forty percent of the American population has never visited a dentist (what, they don't have teeth?)
Average life span of a major league baseball is seven pitches (does that include being hit by the bat?)
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times (go ahead - try it - I'll wait)
Canadian car horns beep in the tone of F (wonder if that is for "get the F*&%# out of my way?)
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINES (that you may have missed)

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, expert says (now you know why he is an expert)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

War Dims Hope for Peace

Local Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Construction

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Hospitals Are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Crack Found in Man's buttocks

Army Vehicle Disappears After Being Painted With Camouflage

Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find

One Handed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers (what? with his feet?)

Study finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

Man Shoots Neighbour with Machete (wonder what caliber it was?)

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop and Find Weapons (as opposed to???)

Poison Control Centre Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison (and if your wife makes the meal?)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

And finally, I will leave you with this little tidbit from Dr. Seuss on the Golden Years:

"I can not see, I can not pee. My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks. No sense of smell, I look like hell. My body's drooping, I have trouble pooping. The Golden Years have come at last, the Golden Years can kiss my *&%$#@ !"

Grandpa out ........